Misconstrued Thoughts : Yesterday's Misconstrued Thoughts Today

Well this isn't much of a story, but it was pretty freaky at the time. I was snowboarding and was going a little too fast for the icy conditions, then I took the icy turn, and was about 5 inches from falling off the icy mountain.

I went through a plate glass window. Fun for everyone involved. Except for the two security guards who threw up and passed out respectively. And just so you know, stitches are cool.

oh and one more thing,was this guy drunk or something? How did he not feel a nail shooting into his brain?

Well Judes, there are no nerves for pain in the brain itself (i.e., poke it, and you feel nothing on the brain itself, but you may wet your pants or start yelling random things like "OBSIDIAN MARMOSET SHINGLE HOUND!!!"). So, the skin probably closed up over the bottom of the wound (the mouth is the fastest healing spot on the body, I think), and all he felt was a dull pain that he took for a tooth ache. Since he didn't have insurance, it seems that he put off getting the only pain he felt (the aching tooth) to see if it would go away on it's own (see: The time I waited out a that nasty pusstule to fester so that I could just pop it myself).

I'm wide awake, it's morning.

D.A.

I have two...

I was in my eighth grade gym class, and we had to do human pyramids...(why, i'll never know) and our collapsed. So, I broke my big toe. Imagine explaining to people that you broke your toe doing a pyramid.

I also fell off my high school stage during a play rehearsal..

And On December 25th I almost fell off the hill (thus sliding down another tree-filled steeper hill)at Seven Springs...twice.

My life is just one giant accident waiting to happen!

Umm, I cut a tree down while I was in it. I had to take down some trees in our front yard. I would climb to the top and tie-on the rope. Then notch it halfway down so it would break there. Well, the chainsaw notched a little to deep. The 25 foot section broke and fell. Fortunatly it fell away from me. I was able to hang onto the still standing part of the tree to keep from falling. The worst part, my mother was recording me with the camera so my stupididty has been permantly recorded. I'll save the other stories for another day.

I like Kevin's stupid thing... When we stayed with Jerm one day in Knoxville Kevin just had to sharpen Jerm's knives. In the process he sliced off the tip of his thumb. People were telling him that he should probably go get stitches, but what was there to stich his thumbprint was lying on the floor somewhere in Jerm's kitchen.

It's funny I just came across the pictures from your Cookeville accident the other day when I was re-organizing my pictures on the computer.

My accident was when I was 8 years old and I was outside with my brother. We were playing around with this little one gallon fish tank that my dad was cleaning out and left it under the tree. I climbed the tree and slipped and fell right on it cutting my leg. I didn't even know I cut my leg and went in the house to tell mom I broke the tank. She started freaking out when she saw my leg and was telling me to sit down which is when I saw the blood. I just cut so many nerves in my leg I couldn't feel it (To this day I still can't feel that section of my leg). I ended up with 44 stiches and unable to move my leg the whole summer. I was fortunate though because 1/4" to the left and 1/8" up I would have lost my knee cap or 1/4" to the right I would have bled to death.

Have many, but here is the top 3 in no particular order...

I was about 6 or 7 and I was left home alone (bad idea on my parents part). I found a 0.22 bullet in the cabinet and thought it looked pretty cool. I went out side and started throwing it on the ground to see if I could make it explode, but it was to no avail. We had some lava rocks in front of our house so I got the bright idea to set it on one rock and then drop another rock on top of it (you know, just to see what would happen) Well it work, and the bullet went off and grazed my wrist and left some shrapnel in the side of it. I was scared and did not want to tell anybody, so I tried to hide it, which lasted for a couple weeks (Jeremy why is your wrist bleeding---oh I fell and cut my self, Im ok, don't look at it), untill it got infected and I fessed up, and my mom had to take the metal out...and yes I got in trouble...I still have the scar, but is very unimpressive...

Gotta get back to work...stupid things Jeremy has done part 2 is coming later...

Like Lea I always knew I could die if I tried some things but John was fearless. He could write a book but I'd like to share a few of his older brother's "let's try it on John" episodes.
Jump out of the Oak Tree with an umbrella. Lasted for 2 seconds
We'll push you in this wagon as fast as we can and you'll shoot straight through the burning leaves. As the wagon stops in the middle.
Just put this german army helmut on and I'll shoot at it to see if the soldiers felt anything.
The one scary episode for me is when he was pulling lumber off the Edger in the lumber mill. The teeth grabbed his jacket and started to pull him through. he's not a big man but has arms of steel and held back that huge machine and it started to jump the gears. Finally someone saw it and stopped the machine. It tore through 3 layers of clothes and cut his arm. The only good thing is... this was the episode that he told me his families'(he wasn't a witness at the time) stand on blood and started my search for the truth

Yeah, that day you wrecked your car was pretty cool, jerm. Kevin and I saw the whole thing from the var behind you. What was so funny to us is that keving had just mentioned you were probably going to wreck. Then we turned the corner and saw yo standing on the side of the car with your arms up in the air like Rocky. Great stuff.

And Amber's cut was weird - I remember wondering why everyone was freaking out. I didn't push her, by the way. And it sucked because she got a butt load of toys, and of course I got one Transformer. That's what I get for always being healthy... a whole lotta nothin'.

Dumb things I've done part 2.

When I was in the 5th grade our school had this program called G.A.T.E for the nerdy kids(something about gifted and talented, but as you you'll soon see it was all a big lie.) One of our projects for the year was to build model rockets and we were going to launch them out on the football field. We worked diligently (mine was the "Big Bertha" painted black and yellow, but my friend Todd had this one called something like the "Screamer" with an aerodynamic...ok pointed...nose cap...this works into the story, trust me...) The day finally came, and we all went out to the football field to launch them...actually our school had an assembly and everybody sat in the stands to watch...yes, I know I went to a scary rural country school. I launched mine and it was pretty uneventful. Later on, I was standing in the middle of the with a contraption to measure altitude (nerdy kid, I know) when Todd launched his. It soared into the sky, but there was a problem, the engine did not provide the second burst that would pop off the nose cap and allow the parachute to deploy. The rocket came hurtling towards the earth, and for some reason I got the idea that it was not going that fast. "Yes, I can catch it" I thought, "that way it will not break apart and shatter as it collides with the earth". So I got underneath the path of the rocket (oh yea, it got to height of three or four hundred feet before it started to make its descent) and stood there waiting. My big moment was coming (and for some strange reason I could not hear any one around me say "MOVE!" or "Get out of the way", yep I was focused). The rocket did not crash and shatter into the ground, no it did not, thanks to me trying to catch it and it lodging into my bicep. I screamed, the crowd gasped, and somewhere inside of me there was a little voice that said "I told you that was a bad idea".

So a trip to the doctor's office and a lot ridicule was the result of my stupidity. That's probably why I grew up and became a rock scientist instead of a rocket one like Jerm.

Well, one time I poured rubbing alcohol on my arm...and...well...you know the rest of the story. And then there was this other time when I was about 6 or 7 and I was goofing around at the bus stop. And the first bus came by to pick up the junior high school kids. And I tripped and fell and my leg was under the bus. And I froze up and my brother pulled me back as the bus was about to roll over my leg.

Oh, an this one isn't so much a lost limb or anything but it was stupid. In the fifth grade my friends and I would have staring contests. But not with each other but with the sun. Who could stare directly into the sun with blinking and/or looking away. It went on for minutes at a time. I'll probably be blind of eye cancer in a few years.

Not exactly life-threatening, but very very painful!
A few years back our family was on our annual beach vacation... and this year in particular we were staying in panama city.
Now to the action...kimmy and I had purchased some new floats for the trip... one was a layout float(kimmy's) and the other was a big tire float(mine). After being in the water on our floats for a while, we decided to switch up... so kimmy jumped into my tire float, legs hanging below... and i jumped onto the layout float and layed back to relax...just shortly after switching up a large wave came down on us throwing a man-o-war jellyfish on top of me...well as you know... jellyfish sting...and i was stung more than you could imagine, it was trying to eat me! the jellyfish was in my lap and tentacles were wrapped completely around my right leg, my back, and my left arm.. finally in a last attempt to get free i jumped up and it slid off, not even touching kimmy, how about that. so my loving sister then drug me to shore and kept yelling for me to hurry up and catch up with her as she was walking back to our room, unaware that my leg was almost completely numb by then... i was left with whip marks all over and a sore on my arm, well i enjoyed the rest of the weekend soaked in vinegar and water indoors!

Another close call:

One time in band camp, mongo found little lizard. Mongo first thought lizard was poisonous, so mongo threw lizard on friend (little timmy). Turns out lizard wasn't poisonous, but timmy was so scared that he ran into giant pine tree and a big pine cone fell and almost bumped little timmy on head. Fortunately all timmy needed was 57 stiches from confrontation with tree and "corrective walking boots" for rest of summer.

Lets see. I have one as well. I was about maybe five or six years old at the time but my i was with my oldest brother at the time and we had just gotten back from the store. We pulled up in our driveway and he left me in the car while it was running. (yea, good idea leavin a five year old in a idled car huh?) No wait it was on the street. Anywho. So little ol curiousity kicked in and i just so happen to put the car in gear. So, the car starts moving. For those of u who don't know where i stay, when you cross out stop sign there is a little hill there. So now i'm really starting to go now. I dont know how, but my brother manages to run after the car, UNLOCKS the door, hops in and stops the car right before we hit university drive.( one of the main busy streets in HSV.) Man, after thinkin about that i might not be here today. Thanks Bro! But yea. thats my story!

That stupid Quiz! I was takin it last night and my puter froze. it was late so i was gonna do it today. well i just got done takin it. it still had it timed still. it said i took like 60000 something secs! Jeremy! i want first place or i shutin misconstrued down. That ain't right! I dont care if i am here for your entertainment! I want JUSTICE!!!!!!!

I've had many painful experiences my self. Once a time ago we decided to play hide and go seek in the house in the dark. I was chosen to find everyone long story short i hit some object on a bed cutting my head causing it to bleed i still have the scar ask to see it some day. I guess my other painful experience was tryin to hang upside down on the monkey bars by my legs and landing on my chin injuring a young little flint. Many more but dont' feel like tellin them.

Yes Sky, many of us have been duped by the quiz. I had to do four days of Canadian trivia (I think that's more than the rest of the folks here), then I missed a day + had the comp. freeze problem. We can all just take this month as a learning experience, but I'm going to keep plugging along.

We'll see what happens.

The Collaboration

hmm, well the most life endagering ones i've been through were when i went tubing down Okanagan River and got sucked under a log dam and got hit on the head by a number of branches, all i remember thinking was when do i take a breath of water...then i came up

the next was when i jumped off a rope swing in my backyard that goes over a ravine...well i failed to grasp the rope, yet my foot remained in the loop at the base of the swing, so i swung upside down and did a swan dive fall 15 feet and luckily landed between a boulder and a stump, then i had to be carried out and driven to the hospital and then I couldn't walk for 3 days

1. I was playing hide and seek at a friends house, when I was supposed to be going home, anyways... The Base was a wood deck, and I was not it, and not going to be it, but when I was ~4 feet from base the guy that was it, tagged me so hard that I fell and touched base with one of my front teeth and broke it half off (yes it is fake today)

2. I was at our kingdom hall's quick build on sunday. The guys that were cutting wood nailed their tables to the ground with concrete nails (they were finished and took the tables, but left the nails), and I thought "someone is going to trip on those", So i walked up and removed all but one nail, which was very hard to remove, I put one hammer's claw on the nail and hit it with the other hammer... the last swing took the nail out but the hammer richoched off and hit me in mouth and broke one of my K9 teeth.

I was not born with 2 wisdom teeth, or two adult teeth buds for my front bottom two teeth... I am missing 4 teeth :(

3. I was camping, not when in the truth, and we had a good bit to drink and lots of semi-wet wood to burn, so we got a bunch of gas and poored it on the pile of wood... and who was the dumb one to say "I'll light it"... yep you guessed it. I laied on the ground with my arm streached out to light the fire. A huge mushroom cloud looking ball of flame engulfed me and singed my hair and eyebrows and removed my eyelashes... It takes forever for that burnt hair smell to go away :(

4. someone in kinderegarten handed me a unfolded stapler really hard and stapled my hand, I still have two dots in my hand

5. i was hit by a VW beetle while riding my bike, and flew over the car (my right hand hit the side view mirror). The driver was driving on the left side of the road and was stoned, no joke, stoned.

6. I was hit by a masda truck while riding my bike across baley cove (5 lane road). He was in the far right lane and slammed on his brakes and skidded in to the middle turning lane, where he hit me.

Hey Jerm, how about the time you almost cut your head off with a celing fan?

well... i dont know that would be in the list of near death... but it could have... for everyones notes... dont stand up to look at the light on a ceiling fan with out turnin it off... i got hit square in the head.. knocked me off the back of the chair into a wall onto my back...

then with blood gushing from my head... i headed to the meeting... at a new hall.

oh and is still have baby teeth too...

My story just happened a few hours ago!! Some friends and I decided to go sledding today. we went to a place that was pretty popular so there was quite a few people there.
At one point we got the brillant idea to try to make a train going down the hill so we were holding onto each other, four of us on two sleds, I was volunteered to be in the front so I was responsible for steering. We had a good run going, awesome speed until we hit a patch of soft snow the only thing I remember is seeing a cloud of white and the sled going flying out from under us, tumbling over top of each other and then sliding for another 20 ft or so on our back sides. When I got up I and I alone had snow caked on my face, and of course my friend was quick to take a picture so we can treasure that moment forever :D

Later we tried going down locking our arms side by side, that one ended in us going flying once again and me hitting my head.

ok but the real dangerous one was later when another friend and I were on a sled and we started heading straight for some trees, we both put our feet down to try to turn and we were successful... at least for a second. we ended up turning completely around and going backwards for a ways, only to turn again, as we were trying unsuccessfully to slow down, (I think we ended up going faster actually) we ended up going straight into the tree or actually I went straight into the tree and my friend crashed into me, which had these large rubber tires around it for that reason. But let me tell you when its about 10 degrees out rubber is not soft at all!!! I smashed into the tree hitting my back and just sat there for a minute due to the excruciating pain I felt in my back. While all my friends stood around me to make sure I was alright. I can still feel my legs and walk so I think I'm just going to be sore tomorrow!!!

wow that was longer than I thought! sorry :(

Chocolate Factory